Expectations and Letting That Shit Go

abhyasa-vairagyabhyam tan-nirodhah (1:12)

The mind’s fluctuations are stilled through practice and acceptance. - Yoga Sutras of Patanjali

I’m brushing up on my Yoga Sutras. And by brushing up, I mean I’m starting them for the umpteenth time. I’m not sure why I always drop them. I think that I try to take in too much too fast and my brain literally has a melt down. So I (restarted) ‘Living the Sutras’ by Kelly DiNardo and Amy Pearce-Hayden. Just like every time I do, it’s a different experience.

In this book, the writers speak about a fable, one I hadn’t heard before. Aesop (a Greek fabulist and storyteller) told a story about a grasshopper and an ant. Essentially, the grasshopper wanted to hang out in the summer sun and rock his chill game. The ant was eager to go out, work hard and gather all of the food that he could for the winter. In the end, the grasshopper went hungry.

So we all know that hard work pays off. That’s not the point of this post though.

The authors added on their own spin that the ant came to realize that he couldn’t eat any of the food he’d gathered because he was allergic to it. Could you imagine? Giving up your whole summer so you can be fed in the winter only for it to go tits up? We’ve all be in a similar position before. We work hard with the expectation that we’ll see a return. The key word is expectation.

EXPECTATION - just in case you missed it.

What would happen if we could let go of our expectations? I bet we’d have less disappointment for one thing. Probably less stress. Better sleep. A more present awareness. Me? My expectations can be so incredibly high. It’s a constant practice to just let that shit go.

The authors go on. Instead of the ant exploding in frustration and taking it out on everyone and their mother, he throws a big party and gives all of his hard earned food away. While hosting the party, he met another lovely ant. Who he married. Who had a ton of tasty food that our hero wasn’t allergic to and ended up living happily ever after. And well fed.

I loved this so much. So many times I sit in anticipation of a reward, whatever my brain tells me it’s to look like. When it’s not what I’d envisioned, I turn in to a burning ball of fire with hard words and self doubt.

Vairagya (which can be translated as detachment/ letting go) is something that I work on continuously. For me, it’s trusting the process. It’s understanding that our return may not come at the time or in the form we expect. It’s accepting what is. It’s putting in the work and allowing the seeds to grow. Sometimes it’s slow, sometimes immediate.

So here’s a journal prompt if you care to carry on. What expectations are you holding on to right now? Not confusing them with goals but actual expectations. Write them all down and and give a brief explanation as to why you’re holding on to them in that way. Is there a timeline? Energetically, how have they impacted you? Give some time to yourself to detangle these expectations and if it makes sense to you, maybe just let them go.

Feel free to burn that piece of paper on fire.

I know mine is in ashes. 🔥

Until next time,

Zita