I’m tired and that’s ok.

Hi friends,

Yep. I said it. I’m f*cking tired.

And you know what, it’s ok.

The above picture was taken at a time I felt strong. On my game. And right now, I need that reminder.

I’m struggling. 2021 for me feels harder than 2020 for some reason. It’s like I’m running so fast on this hamster wheel just to keep up. Or most of the times, slightly behind. And it sometimes seems fun, don’t get me wrong but in all honesty, my heart is heavy.

It wasn’t until we did the heart chakra this past Monday as part of the series that I realized how much I have ignored it. I’m pretty sure the alarm bells went off for me halfway through the class actually.

I took Jessi Duley’s Burncycle class Tuesday on my lunch and it was just some real talk. And I heard every single word. The frustration and struggle - I wasn’t alone. Thank God.

And then Tuesdays Slow Flow to Restore class - gagh, it took everything in me not to bawl my eyes out. I truly felt each persons energy, it was so strong and I could have been right there with them. I miss human connection.

So yep. I’m tired. I’m tired of a lot of things and because of a lot of things. I’m tired because my eyes hurt. From the tears and too much screen time. I’m tired because I feel a little lost and running in the dark and with just a sliver of light, it isn’t enough.

And I’m sorry that this isn’t the uplifting message you may have come to expect but if you have ignored your heart, I urge you to now nurture it. To hold it close. To know the kind of medicine that it needs. And to speak up. Because, you’re not alone.

The medicine I need is my parents. I’m coming up to my 31st year on this planet and they are still the ones I reach for when I feel disconnected.

I’m hoping so much that I’m able to get on that flight back home but the stress of multiple cancelled flights and COVID tests feels too much to handle.

Then there’s the lesson of Santosha. Contentment.

I know I have to pay close attention this. I also know it’s f*cking hard. Because the message behind Santosha is to sit in joyful ease. And like the highs and lows, it too shall and must pass. That contentment can be achieved by not clinging to extreme moments of happiness or attaching yourself to outcome.

In my mind my joyful ease will be wheels down in Dublin airport but I know I need to let go of that story. Because the disruption to my whole Self if it doesn’t unfold will be like a blackout in NYC.

Anyways - there are things that I’m doing that are helping my heart. CBD, tinctures, tea, writing (this has helped in fact), talking with the family (sometimes crying with my family) and taking Burncycle classes.

So, right now, what would your list be? Go ahead and write at least three things down. Actually, make it five.

I truly hope you are doing well. And if you’re struggling, feel free to reach out. I’m struggling too and I think that’s ok.

Zita

PS - If you’re not struggling and have some good news you’d like to share, please respond to this email. Literally nothing lifts me up more than hearing about wonderful things happening in peoples lives.